I know, I’ve been AWOL from my blog for a while now. I’ve also been scarce on Twitter. Some unpleasant things have been happening in my life.
The writing just isn’t coming these days. I think I’m putting too much pressure on myself, due to financial issues, to write something that everyone will love. The problem is that everyone is not going to love everything. When I have bursts of creativity, those ideas often don’t fit into the story I’ve set at all, and I’m resisting starting over. The problem is that my latest “AHA!” moment of creativity requires starting over, so I tried… and got one sentence out before it all just refused to work.
When words refuse to so much as drip out of the proverbial brain faucet (ew, I know, lol), there’s not much I can do except try not to get frustrated (and fail), then keep trying and wondering why it’s not working.
I still haven’t sold any more than 3 copies of Lover’s Inferno, and this is bringing me down. Not to whine but maybe it’s just not a very good or interesting story and that’s why.
Meanwhile, I’ve been struggling through some intense inner work and inventing myself. I’ve been confused and going through another phase of wondering whether anything even matters anyway. I’ve decided, for the thousandth time, that nothing really matters so I should just enjoy my life but for some stupid reason or another knowing something intellectually doesn’t always mesh well with living it. That leads me to the stressor of… moving across state lines and/or possibly losing everything. For obvious reasons this is incredibly stressful and I feel like I’m juggling a ton of different things. It’s not even time for the move yet and I’m freaking out about how it’s all going to happen. Meanwhile, there’s an internal Knowing that tells me to relax, stop panicking, and just trust that everything will be fine and my family will have everything we need if I just sit down, shut up, and do what I do best (which is, incidentally, not panicking and coming up with a thousand different scenarios of “what to do” should the worst happen).
Well, if you’ve read through to this part, you deserve a medal. 🙂 So here is how things look for the foreseeable future. This is the relevant information.
1. I plan on posting here more often. The only way to get out of my rut and stop wasting energy panicking is if I focus on something worthwhile. Momentum and all that.
2. I am going to see what happens when I take a break from writing more dramatic stories and focus on unleashing my Silliness. That usually works and helps me. Thanks to @CorinthianSpake I know that others still enjoy it and want me to write silliness. 🙂 (Just when I was thinking about giving up on this whole writing thing, too!) Stay tuned and buckle your seat belts – this will be a wild ride.
3. I will likely branch out a bit more and post about that. I already have a few ideas for future blog posts.
As I said, stay tuned and watch this space! It will become more interesting, I can guarantee you. I hope you’re having a great day! 🙂