First, I would like to announce my gratitude (again) at having received my first review! 😀 Go check out Phoenix Jackson’s blog for more reasons than reading Phoenix’s review of Lover’s Inferno, and say hello if you feel like it!
Okay, now for the life update portion of the blog. I had things I wanted to say but now that I’m in the process of updating, I can’t remember. This seems to happen a lot. If you could hear my sigh, I’m sure you’d find it just so tragic, hehe.
I have been writing, on and off. I’m still looking for that special something that will fill all of my days and nights with joy and wonder, but until then I do enjoy writing so it’s a good match. 🙂 Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I admit that I don’t write a lot of especially happy stories and I think that’s natural for me. Writing is an outlet, so why bottle up all of the dark and angsty stuff so that I can fill the screen with light, airy, beatific words? Writing particularly dark poems and stories as a default is something that I’ve often felt I needed to “fix” but now I’m not sure it matters. Where is all of that supposed to go if I want to keep it from negatively impacting my life? It’s not going to vanish into thin air simply because I want it to, so creativity is the best outlet for it. I still worry that it’s going to keep it from selling well but oh well.
I want to expand my blogging topics, I’m just not sure what to expand it to. I’m hesitant to give more than a small peek of some of my interests and my thoughts surrounding those interests, but something inside of me is pushing me to be all of who I am, no matter the audience, instead of dividing myself into what I expect others will find acceptable vs all of who I am. It’s a conundrum.
I’ve come to the realization (again) that I need to purge my life of all negativity. I’m still keeping my most valuable relationships, even though they do cause me angst at times, because I also believe firmly in loyalty. I’m so disgusted by the attitude that so many people have, and ultimately preach, that people are disposable. Oh, sure, it’s all about not allowing “toxic people” to “pull you down”, but you know what? If you spend your life thinking that anything and anyone who inconveniences you or makes you less than happy needs to be clipped from your life, you’re going to end up miserable, bitter, and alone. That’s reality, and I want no part of that eventuality. I’m of the opinion that relationships should be worked on. Maybe it’s because I’ve been jerked around, strung along with empty words of love, used, discarded when I wasn’t convenient to keep around anymore and I cannot stress my disgust toward the attitude that doing so makes one “healthy”. No, it doesn’t. The inability or unwillingness to work out issues and compromise and so on only makes people pathetically weak. Just because the going gets tough doesn’t mean it’s okay to bail on people you say you love, and I’m glad to have come to a firm understanding on what I think about it instead of listening to all the “health/relationship gurus” and morons that preach to know best. Naturally, I’ve had to come to terms with my own flightiness and realize how uncool my own behavior has been in past relationships as well. It’s not fun but it’s necessary.
Maybe that last paragraph’s a bit too ranty and less than positive but positivity is something to work toward and it doesn’t come overnight, lol. Not least of which, true authenticity means that I can’t sugarcoat it and be permissive when I find something abhorrent.
Back to what I wrote about purging my life of negativity…
I wrote up a list of what’s truly important to me so that I can refer to it when I start to forget. Immediately apparent was the fact that more than half of what I’ve been focused on is NOWHERE near that list. So… snip, snip. I’m planning some intensive pruning in my life, including my belongings and papers. A lot of my unfinished or old writing will also go. After that, the organization begins!
I hope you’re all doing well and having a great Summer. The weekend is here, so enjoy whatever R&R comes with that in your life. 🙂 As always, we can connect on Twitter.